C.C.'s
Work
Excuses


  1. Got Drunk at Kelly's
  2. P.M.S.
  3. Cat had Surgery
  4. In Jail
  5. Dyed Hair and it turned green
  6. In Detox
  7. Have to be in Court
  8. Hangover (honest)
  9. Forgot it was Monday
  10. My ride didn't pick me up
  11. Stomach Cramps
  12. Death in The Family
  13. Back went out.
  14. Flight Delay
  15. Tooth Pulled
  16. Slipped Down Stairs
  17. Headache
  18. No Ride
  19. Roads not plowed
  20. Too Foggy Can't see to drive.
  21. Flu
  22. Reaction to Medication
  23. Upset Over Break-up
  24. Common Cold
  25. Eye Dr. Appt.
  26. Sun Burn
  27. Child Sick
  28. Went into Labor (Women only)
  29. Wife or Girlfriend Had Baby (Men only)
  30. Stressed out
  31. Car Accedent (not hurt just shook up)
  32. Tooth Ache
  33. Military Duty
  34. Ear Ache
  35. Jury Duty
  36. Heater Broke ( waiting for repairman - Meeting him at Kelly's)
  37. Unexpected Company (FBI)
  38. Unexplained Rash
  39. It's my Birthday
  40. I was kissing my girlfriend goodbye, and our braces locked (Teen Men Only)
  41. Lack of Interest
  42. Mr. Bacardi spanked me!
  43. The Bulls are playing!
  44. Can't tell you, it's personal!
  45. The sun was finially shining.
  46. I was losin' my virginity.
  47. I was having an affair.
  48. I had eye problems...coudln't see going into work
  49. I was Jacking Off and lost track of time
  50. I didn't say Mom died, I said I had to bury a stiff!
  51. I feel to good to work today
  52. Alarm didnt go off
  53. Very ill, sick of working
  54. Too Much Shagging
  55. My Helicopter Broke down
  56. My Hamster Exploded in his cage
  57. I broke my collor bone playing soccer
  58. Got drunk jumped out of plane forgot parachute
  59. I already called in sick once this week, so today, I'm calling in dead !
  60. It's agianst my religion to work
  61. I'm sick. (It was "Explosive diahrea")
  62. I HAD SCABBIES.
  63. Worried about moms pregnancy,wondering if it may be mine.
  64. Hangnail trouble
  65. I had something up my ass, he wouldn't get out!
  66. Overslept because my alarm was in a hurry
  67. Had to stay home and pluck the cat.
  68. My wife is going to have a baby --- In nine months
  69. Number 69? Well, I had to turn around.
  70. I don't work for assholes
  71. I was too busy having sex with your wife
  72. Train stopped me!!!
  73. I am not getting paid enough asshole!!!!!
  74. I was with my exes best friend!!!
  75. SORRY I WAS 10TH IN LINE AT YOUR DAUGHTER'S DOOR!!!
  76. I forgot I had a job.
  77. I was peeping at your wife in the shower
  78. Had to empty my exe's savings accounts
  79. Being chased by cops while sleeping in my car
  80. Don't wanna talk about your mother that way it might hurt your feelings.!!!!!!!!!!!
  81. Cat is depressed
  82. Had to screw Hillary, I feel sick, you run the country Al.
  83. Lost my keys in the snow
  84. I ALREADY HAVE MY 40 HOURS FOR THIS WEEK
  85. I didn't think I had to show up every day
  86. I forgot my car keys in your house, and can't get in my car
  87. I thought today was thursday
  88. No hot water in shower. Girlfriend used it.
  89. I was warmin' up my bride-to-be.
  90. My monkey got loose (guys only)
  91. Lost track of time watching C-Span
  92. I kept telling your wife I needed to get to work on time...
  93. My old lady's expecting a baby (In nine months)
  94. I found someone cheaper
  95. I went to hell for screwing my boss's daughter.
  96. You were to hard on me last night.
  97. I found a better blow job
  98. Your wife took me out to breakfast
  99. Since I did every thing last week I'm taking this week off!
  100. I don't work here anymore!
  101. I was drunk and stoned!
  102. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT IVE BEEN HERE ALL DAY
  103. ELVIS landed in my back yard last night and...
  104. I was abducted by aleins.......
  105. My Dog ate my calendar
  106. Job??!?!!? I have a job? I thought you paid me to make fun of you.
  107. i just didn't wanna
  108. My job...Man I just could not fit it onto my schedule!
  109. Your wife forgot to call in for me to take a sick day!
  110. I still don't know why ! ...
  111. I was involved in a religous ceremony...praying to the porcelin god
  112. Today was a holiday!
  113. Heh it's hard to get off a warm body...
  114. Ear Infuction too much screwbadiving in the Pussyfic Ocean had to go to my Dicktors to get it fingered out.
  115. Twat? I cunt hear you? I've got an ear infuction..job? I rectem I'll finger it out later.!
  116. she's still stuck on my dick.
  117. My wife and I are joined at the hips.
  118. I WENT TO SEE MICHAEL JACKSON'S FATHER, TO GET DISPLINED!
  119. i forgot to wrap mr gerbil in sticky tape and it exploded
  120. I'm a blonde. That's excuse enough!!
  121. Don't speak to me like that!
  122. I left my underwear in your wife's drawer and had to get it.
  123. I took a shit and clogged a public bathroom.
  124. I was constipated and i couldn't get up
  125. Golf cart broke down after 8 holes this morning.
  126. My wife is having sex, and I wanted to be there.
  127. Your mom was visiting for the weekend.
  128. To drunk to find my car
  129. had a hard one all night and could not walk in the morning
  130. You f%@#@d me so hard yesterday, I didn't think I had to come today, sorry!
  131. hmm...yeah, why I wasn't here? um...
  132. I was building a thermo nuclear detonator!
  133. my retarded friend locked me in the house
  134. I was a little short on paying the debt on your wife, so she sexually tortured me
  135. Recovering from foot surgery, yours in my ass
  136. You told me not to tell your gay secret so I'm not coming back.........whoops....
  137. If I had 5 more minutes, I would always be on time!
  138. Your daughter was so good last night I had to get a second helping this morning!
  139. I'm not late, your fucking clock is an hour fast!!!!!
  140. Sorry but I have the BROWN BOTTLE FLU
  141. I dont wanna , too fucking lazy!!!
  142. I'm a part time prostitute, and was to shagged to come in!
  143. I woke up and was to small/big for my clothes.
  144. I ate an apple from a witch, which put me in a comma!
  145. Bang!!! I'm SHOT!!!!!!
  146. Went to bed with a dog, woke up with rabies!
  147. In a coffin
  148. I thought you fired me yesterday!
  149. Your mum wouldn't let me get off the bed!
  150. Who are you? Who am I? I have amnesia! Where the fuck am I?
  151. Remember I told you yesterday! I have amnesia! God some people are so stupid!
  152. Are you at work? So am I!
  153. Sorry family crisis. Cow(wife) died of B.S.E!
  154. Car park was full, so I drove home!
  155. I want to kill you today, so I thought I'd better stay at home!
  156. I forgot my keys and got locked in the porch!
  157. Feeling faint, my huge erection is coming up again!
  158. Didn't your wife tell you? I guess she was orgasming to loud and didn't here me!
  159. Massive hand and wrist cramp!
  160. tryed to blow off my friend so i could get to work on time but then your wife came over
  161. I died and came back to life
  162. I had to read all the work excuses at the Kelly's Web Page!!! oopps
  163. Too busy choking my chicken
  164. I got shagged rotten last night baby yeah!!
  165. U talking to me?? Are you talking to me??? Do you know what I am going to do to you??
  166. It's stuck in a barrel!!!
  167. Sorry I was turning GAY!
  168. Lost track of time while reading Kelly's Jokes on the NET.
  169. Had to teach a blond.
  170. Waching your wife have an afair with my dog.
  171. My sack schrunk
  172. I'm not late , I was having sex with my wife in her office
  173. lost trak of time watching my cat fucking your dog
  174. I was getting the taste of your cock out of my mouth
  175. I was in a Mental Hospital
  176. Your fuken dog eat my clothes while I was fucking your wife.
  177. your fucken cat was tryng to eat my bird...
  178. Stuck in Québec.
  179. Overslept because I stayed at my awesome girlfriends house too late
  180. had an affair with cassy
  181. can't work unless it does do with sex and i'll work overtime for that sir
  182. 24 hour fucking syndrome
  183. My dog was trying to eat my cat which was trying to eat my bird which was trying to eat a mouse which was trying to eat the cheese that I had poisned for you as a gift..here's your chee.......ooppss.....
  184. I took a shit in my pants... So i had to throw my underware away!! Besides they looked like a coffee filter !
  185. (Blond) I could'nt turn the blinker off on my car so I ended up driving into a ditch..
  186. Got drunk and enlisted in navy
  187. Is it really Monday?
  188. had to choke the living shit out of my mother in-law
  189. I knew I was going to take a dumb, and wanted to use my own toilet
  190. my kids missed their school bus
  191. I left my car keys at your house.
  192. Because I quit!
  193. What?
  194. My cat ate my log on card then I had to take it to the vet
  195. Because your daughter came late...
  196. got pulled over by the cops on my way to work for speeding and in the process of bribing the cop got busted for solicitation.
  197. I got busted for drink driving on my way to work!
  198. All work and no play makes me really CRANKY!!!
  199. Had to eat
  200. calling in dead sounds bad
  201. I had sex last night and got to much!!
  202. I'm too high to drive , can't find my car, can you come and pick me up?
  203. My Dixie Wrecked
  204. i got drunk and somebody hid my car last nite !!
  205. fuck it, I was down on it
  206. I fell in the BUSH !!!
  207. I DIDN'T EAT MY WHEATIES!!!!!!
  208. I was smoking a big fattie
  209. died
  210. Got Drunk this morning while I was waiting for my ride.
  211. Arrested for attempted murder I DIDN'T DO IT!!!! I DIDN'T!!!! YOU'RE DEAD YOU SON OF A BITCH
  212. Rats chased me around all night
  213. My toenails attacked my television
  214. I fell I love with a guy on the net and I had to send him e-mail saying I loved him but I couldn't stop writing "I love you I love you ..." ...my hands didn't want to stopt typing. "I love you , I wana fuck you"
  215. Brother hit by car, mine.
  216. It was my son's birthday so I gave him a birthday party and I have the right to take off!!!
  217. I don't work for assholes.
  218. I chipped a nail and had to go to Emergency
  219. I GOT LAID, BY YOUR SISTER'S HAMBSTER!!SO FUCK OFF!YOU COCK SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!
  220. i got jiginitess so have to go fishin to get rid of it!!!!!
  221. I heard there was going to be a bomb threat today!!
  222. WENT TO A DOUBLE FUNERAL MOM SHOT DAD IN THE COCK
  223. I was off eating your wife's pussy, and she just wouldn't let go off me
  224. my dick hurt
  225. Don't you remember last night? Weren't you late to? Oh, that was your son i was fucking this morning! He's only 13, right?
  226. I had such a good fuck i didn't want to leave. Actually I didn't. Meet my sexfriend, Derick!
  227. I had so much fun fucking last night i didn't want to leave. Actually, I didn't. Meet my sexfriend, Derick
  228. I hate the people I work with!
  229. Because me and your wife were having sex you fucking fruity bastard
  230. hey!!! I can't see it! (#230)
  231. I QUIT!!!! and by the way I've been sleeping with your wife
  232. went to kennys funeral
  233. I LEFT MY GOOD PAIR OF UNDERWEAR AT YOUR MOMS HOUSE
  234. I've got bong blisters all over my fingers
  235. Hey, I got a big dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  236. dick-n-pussy
  237. my dick ran out of sperm
  238. I saw your mom fucking your sister
  239. I saw your mom fucking your sister
  240. I saw your mom fucking your sister
  241. ass was to good
  242. YOU wr
  243. got so drunk at Kelly's that I put my false teeth in upside down and chewed up half my head.
  244. was with your son all nite in his room did't you here all the noise oh ya i forgot u were at work for me
  245. Wife's getting pregnant and I want to be there.
  246. I was at Kelly's Bar last night and saw your wife, mother, daughter and son there. We went back to my place and played around. Your daughter is such a slut!!! Do you teach her how to fuck at home? Your son is gives a great blowjob (He's what, 13?)and I won't even talk about your wife though!!!!! MMmmm what a pussy!!! Your mom was a bitch though. Anyway, we played a little late. Your women wouldn't let me leave!!!!
  247. I just went out for a cigarette after having sex with your secretary. She says I have a bigger dick then you, but your wife has the sweetest pussy.
  248. I was tired after last night with you. You have so much energy to be here early after last night! Wanna do it again?
  249. fuck off
  250. fuck off fuckface
  251. i quit
  252. The poker game went into overtime!
  253. Your dad's false teeth got stuck in my dick
  254. your wife was bad so this morning i went to your grandmas
  255. My mouth was too sticky.
  256. I was eating cherries last night, and got too tired.
  257. I was eating cherries last night, and got too tired.
  258. My cat exploded in the kitchen and i had to clean up the mess
  259. Your not gonna belive this ( bos: No I'm not . ) Fine then i'm not telling you
  260. Had to fly to the moon b4 comming to work
  261. couldn't find excuse # 260 , 261 and 262 that i wrote
  262. I got drunk, passed out, and this morning I found a tattoo that says "I'M STUPID" on my forehead.
  263. I was going to come in but my hand hurts and for some reason my penis fell off
  264. I found out that your wife gives better head
  265. I found out that your wife give better head
  266. there were more excuse then last time in kellys' work excuse so i took me longer to read them all and pick one to give youthis morning ...
  267. Well someone had to please your wife!
  268. Your wife wouldn't let me try to find my pants.
  269. THE DOG ATE THE KEYS....FOR REAL
  270. CAUSE MELISSA IS MOVING
  271. I tried to get off of your wife but I rolled over three times and I was still on top of her.
  272. I've got eye problems. I can't see coming in to work!
  273. Someone slipped something into my drink
  274. my mother is back from the dead
  275. Cause I won the lottery!!! Was gonna call in, but the pay phone wouldn't take a $100.00 dollar bill!!!
  276. I didn't feel I could take the stress right after I had partied all night!
  277. explosive diarrea
  278. I'm Tired
  279. About Laughed to death this morning reading Kelly's webpage.
  280. I woke up with a bad hangover and married
  281. i woke up on the beach this morning naked,and with a hang over. will have to wait till dark to sneak back home.
  282. All of my armpit hair fell out, i was up late last night trying to find it all.
  283. I was to busy deciding which excuse I was going to use today.
  284. (gay men) we were coming home from vacation but we forgot to pack our shit the night before.
  285. I'm horny
  286. Tired from last night (got fucked)
  287. My dog fucked my other dog and they have been stuck together to long
  288. My dog and I are stuck together so I have to go to the hospital
  289. If it is all the same to you I won't be in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
  290. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake throught her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
  291. I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
  292. I had to clean the guns
  293. The voices said to stay home
  294. Who me? No i'm not disgruntled
  295. Constapation would not let me off of the shitter
  296. Had the runs, couldn't leave the shitter
  297. I ran over an oyster shell, it flew up and broke my window.
  298. Too busy reading 'Dave Barry.'
  299. Got sucked into cyberspace. Again.
  300. Girlfriend stabbed me in the leg
  301. or boyfriend stabbed me in the leg (if your gay)
  302. I am the first living brain donor!!!!!
  303. I'm sorry the brain you have reached is not in service.
  304. Dave?? Dave's not home, man!
  305. Dave? What are you doing, Dave??
  306. My Dog got ran over, had to take him to the vet
  307. oh damn, I thought today was a holiday!
  308. ummm uh, ummm oh yeah sorry
  309. just didn't wanna
  310. Your dog was too busy so I had to wait for your mom
  311. Na I jest did that yesterday
  312. I had to go up a half hour before I went to bed and work 29 hours in the coal mine and when I got home my mother and father would beat us to death, and then dance about our graves singing Hallelujah
  313. IM STILL DRUNK YOU ASS-HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  314. I work for the Post Office, what are you going to do about it!
  315. I had to pay your wife last night so I could not pay bus fair
  316. I had a run in with Mrs. Bobbit
  317. I couldn't find my way out from undernieth your mom
  318. Two words for you, I am Gay! Oops that is four.
  319. I've got a good excuss, I'm a supervisor kid ok fag
  320. Had to stop for more k-y jelly
  321. Had to stop for more k-y jelly
  322. I HATE LESTER B.
  323. I GOT MY THINGY CAUGHT IN MY ZIPPER
  324. I LEFT MY KEYS IN MY CAR WITH THE MOTOR RUNNING AND I COULDN'T GO ANYWHERE, MY CAR RUN ALL DAY & RUN OUT OF GAS.
  325. Ten elephants from our local cirkus ran over my car.
  326. Your wife forgot to wake me up!!!
  327. I don' know.
  328. I had to drop your wife off this morning, and got caught in rush hour on the way in.
  329. Ear Infuction too much screwbadiving in the Pussyfic Ocean had to go to my Dicktors to get it Fingered out....
  330. MY DICK NEARLY FELL OFF AFTER FUCKING YOUR WIFE ALL LAST NIGHT!!!!
  331. YOUR SON GIVES A GREAT EARLY MORNING BLOW JOB!
  332. YOUR MOM WOULDN'T BACK UP OFF MY NUTS, IM SURE YOU KNOW HOW THAT IS!!!!!!!!!
  333. My dick was stuck in your wife's mouth, she said it was the biggest dick she's ever seen.
  334. I did
  335. I didn't have enough k-y jelly this morning with your wife, I had to stop on the way to work to pick some up then we had a little quickie in my back seat, SORRY!
  336. I was having phone sex with your son while your husband's cock was entering my soaking wet tunnel of love and his rocks were banging against my lucious wet pussy lips!!
  337. Next time....can I join whoever wrote 344...we will have to have a speaker phone so my rocks can bang on your chin!!
  338. your dad got to me last night all through the morning!!! sorry i'll be a little late
  339. you smell like shit boss!
  340. Im still drunk, and seeing your face will make me puke
  341. you cunt smells like tuna hoebag!
  342. NO
  343. I,VE GOT BLUE BALLS "BITCH" !!!!!!!!!
  344. your a Fucker and I didn't want to
  345. Bad case of explosive diarrea!
  346. HAD SEX WITH YOU REMEMBER?
  347. I lost my American Express Card and I can't leave home without it.
  348. my dick got caught in my zipper while masterbating in the parking lot!
  349. Have You stheen my Weenah!(Warren from Something About Mary)
  350. Uh umm uh I've got leporsy OH SHIT MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!!
  351. masturbating, at least i had fun
  352. GETTING HEAD FOR BREAKFAST
  353. couldnt be arsed
  354. with your mom
  355. goo
  356. Rob Duncun is a gay faggot
  357. I was fuckin your wife
  358. Aliens are surrounding my house.
  359. jdjdjdjhfjdhjfhdjdhjfhjdhjdfjhjfhjfhjdhfjdhfjhdfjdjfhjdhf
  360. Man I will lick yo wrinkly ass pussy for 2 dolla
  361. I did it with your sister
  362. Ran over by a mad man with a roatavator and a 3070 massey
  363. Had a wank. Could'nt find the tissues
  364. What?
  365. Your wife told me to saty in the closet until you left for work.
  366. My goldfish has a vet appt.
  367. I'm trianing for your job boss
  368. have to go to the barber to have my eyes checked
  369. I was fucking your wife
  370. The misses had other ideas
  371. Jonny was fucking Mindy, and someone had to keep then in line
  372. You fucked my wife, thats what this guns' for.
  373. I'll give you a BJ if you forget the whole thing
  374. Your daughter wouldn't get off of my cock this morning.
  375. The deaf man heard me flick him off & got pissed.
  376. Your daughter wouldn't get off my face
  377. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
  378. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
  379. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
  380. Because you're (boss) a spineless jellyfish and I had to go golfing with your wife!
  381. What do you mean YOUR at work? Your wife has had me in your closet for the last week telling me that you hadn't left yet!
  382. I HAD TO SCREW YOUR WIFE !
  383. I got my period
  384. Did you ask me a question?
  385. I THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSED TODAY
  386. i was fuckin kellys mom and lost track of time!
  387. the CHIEF MINISTER was passing by, traffic jam happened
  388. I forgot my pager and had to go back to get it
  389. I forgot my pager and had to go back to get it
  390. I had an eye problem - can't see coming to work
  391. I JUST HATE WORKING WITH YOU!!!!!
  392. YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!111
  393. I WAS AFRAID THAT I WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUY ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( YEAH RIGHT NOT IN A MILLION YEARS............. I AM SO GOOD!!!!! AND HE/ SHE KNOWS IT...... LOL)
  394. I CAN'T FIND MY CLOTHES. I AM SHURE IF I COULD FIND MY HOUSE I AM SHURE THEY ARE SOMEWHERE NEAR THERE
  395. I was busy toasting to HONOR: get HON_HER and stay HON-HER.
  396. I am feeling POSTAL!!!
  397. Your son wanted me to play hooky
  398. Sam was getting off with
  399. Sam was getting off with Amy
  400. My Brother Michael Got his di$% caught in his zipper
  401. my dogs birthday I had to hand out the party hats
  402. I was ill and fautiged(sickntired)of you
  403. my electricity went out
  404. i have the irish flu
  405. i had a warrant out for my arrest over an unpaid parking ticket!!!!
  406. i just don't like you
  407. i had sex with sable off of wwf
  408. i didn't have a beer lat night
  409. I had sex HHH and Xpac last night off the wwf
  410. AMNESIA
  411. AMNESIA............WHO ARE U?
  412. MY HUSBAND WENT INTO LABOR
  413. MY HUSBAND WENT INTO LABOR
  414. It's Monday? What the hell happened to Sunday?!?!
  415. i forgot to pay the bill and i have no water
  416. i have a job?
  417. i was hardened in the jello mix. blame jenna shes the one who told me to get in it.
  418. Was run over by a car while stumbling out of the bar with dorajean, who also got run over, so she won't be in work either.
  419. Kurp says, "I was getting laid by your wife."
  420. had to drive my drunk dog home
  421. I had to loosen your wife up first
  422. I had a dream I was there. I'm not , am I?
  423. MY DICK GOT STUCK IN THE VACUME
  424. I got my dick stuck in Harold my nsme is Lucas
  425. I realized there were better things to do....like your wife.
  426. i eat shit
  427. I was trying to wash the smell off my dick from fucking your wife.
  428. JUST LAZY
  429. I FELT LIKE FUCKING YOUR MOM
  430. work.. whats work??? I am from Oregon.. We have welfare
  431. I DREAMT I WAS LATE, AND WOKE UP AND I WAS
  432. PLEASE REMOVE THE VERY DIRTY EXCUSES - THEY TAKE THE FUN OUT OF READING THIS.
  433. FORD WOULDN'T START
  434. do u really need a reason....just dont do it!!!
  435. i drive a honda with dual whips
  436. i was thinking about you while i was masturbating
  437. karmen was sucking my dick
  438. i was getting butt fucked
  439. for a good time call 1-800-fat-chick
  440. robert saubert came by and wanted to give me head
  441. sale kutte kameene haramee chute teree ma ko....
  442. going to be late, still trying to get rid of your wife
  443. My left nut swelled up to the size of a grapefruit (men only)
  444. I am late because I was volunteering at my church and lost track of time.
  445. You have Explosive Diarrhea
  446. You Have Fire coming out of your ass (John Sczykutowicz)
  447. I got sucked into the gravitational pull of Anna Guest
  448. I got sucked into the gravitational pull of Anna Guest
  449. i had to fuck your wife,and it took for ever
  450. dead
  451. allergic to the boss
  452. wasn't interesting enough
  453. there was football on t.v
  454. the FBI has me under survelance
  455. i was with Mary Jane
  456. i would have come in to work, but i was sucking my boyfriend's big-ass dick
  457. my dick got stuck in my girlfriends pussy
  458. i was to busy getting my brains fucked out to bother......not my fault the best you can do is your cat
  459. i fucked to hard last night and it was 1:00pm
  460. my girlfriend woud'nt let me come to work because we were stranded on her bottomeless hole
  461. I DID NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE THIS EARLY IN MORNING
  462. BECAUSE YOUR A BIG ASS MOTHER FUCKER THAT CAN'T GET A FUCKIN DATE SO FUCK YOU I QUIT
  463. ""BITCH IN A HALF""
  464. ""BITCH IN A HALF""
  465. I was at the hospital, I woke up next to a really ugly girl and I had to chew my arm off because I didn't want to wake her.
  466. I was shot and had to go to hospital
  467. COS I WAS FUCKING THE CAT OK
  468. Well I was with this girl right and she wanted to know whether or not i would like to lick her out! Well it was getting really later so i turned around and said Ok. So as i started to she screamed out and would not stop.... are you ok boss you have turned a funny colour! -SAC PRODUCTS
  469. cos?
  470. I was fucking you wife to hard and she tore!-SAC PRODUCTS
  471. Oh! This is what you pay me for! I'll have to stop going to see your wife and daughter!-SAC PRODUCTS
  472. because I GAY BLAIR was BANGING with my BOYFRIEND
  473. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.
  474. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.-
  475. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.-
  476. i was jerking off to much and my dick got so raw i couldn't walk
  477. "Sorry i was late for work Sir" "I got my penis stuck in your daughters braces"
  478. I was late because i got in a car accident while your wife was giving me a blow job
  479. "SORRY i was late , I was masturbating and it took a little longer for me to CLIMAX"
  480. "Sorry I'am Late, But I couldn't get my dick out of his ass till he calmed down and relaxed"
  481. I was to busy writing a letter on how good of a boss you are (at Kelly's
  482. Don't
  483. Got my dick stuck up my ass
  484. i had to cleen the jizz off my walls
  485. Sorry I'm late but I could'nt get from under your bed till you'd gone to work!!!!!!!!!
  486. Busy building plotting company take over, lost track of time.
  487. I was to busy fuckin' my girl!!
  488. I didn't feel like it 'cause my boss is a PRICK!
  489. i plan just don't want to come to work today.
  490. Caught my tongue in the beaters.
  491. got lost in taren karr
  492. I've been in confession.... for three and a half days!
  493. I DONT KNOW
  494. Would you believe that of all things I was driving down the road on my way here and this cop pulled me out of my car put me in theirs and took me to the station and stuck me in suckdown?
  495. I DIDNT WANT TO
  496. I was learning how to spell..
  497. I GOT BUGS IN MY PUBES FROM YOUR NASTY DAUGHTER! WANNA SEE?!I SPENT ALL MORNING TRYING TO CLEAN THIS SHIT UP!
  498. lost my dick
  499. I thought my dick was injured! but when I got to the hospital they said it wasn't my blood! Tell your daughter to inform her sex partners when she is on the fuckin rag okay!!!
  500. I got stoned and five girls rape me all night long
  501. My Mom raped me slowley
  502. I got blind cause I cummed in my eyes
  503. I had to wipe my ass 7 times from that turd that broke off.
  504. i had to put my wife.....uhhhh....ex-wifes body in the ocean
  505. i was fucking melissa pignatellas tight pussy
  506. call this number and say your pussy is tight then hang up 585-6928
  507. i had to put my wife.....uhhhh....ex-wifes body in the ocean
  508. Get a fucking life
  509. Your son was explaining to me how you molested him as a child.
  510. i was waiting in your closet for you to leave
  511. 524.i was fucking melissa pignatellas tight pussy
  512. MY WILMOTH WAS DIRTY
  513. MY WILMOTH WAS DIRTY
  514. I try to be good hard working man but the refrigamater is too too messy
  515. MY GIRLFRIENDS CAR WOULDN'T START
  516. My dog was fucking me, ok !!!
  517. I was busy fucking my sister up the ass. It was good. Want to see a picture of the event?
  518. Du hast mich gefragt und ich habe nichts gesagt!
  519. Amerikans suck, IRAQ RULES!
  520. sorry but my wife had en epilectic fit and I had to hold her tongue!
  521. i tripped and landed in your wifes pussy
  522. i was busy jackin off
  523. my toe hurt
  524. Her husband came home and i was hiding in the closet
  525. Last night aliens probed my ass
  526. I AM THE BOSS
  527. if I don't want to worK then ANY EXCUSE WILL DO ASSHOLE
  528. your gonna die bitch
  529. do you work for UPS because i just saw you checking out my package
  530. I was on a mission to destroy the death star
  531. i was at greenguy's link-o-rama enough said
  532. My deo-spray exploded, these morning and I`m lying in a koma
  533. I sudently turned in to be from litauen
  534. I was Drafted
  535. Why does it matter if I was at work or not? (JL)
  536. I woke up dead this morning!
  537. Got my dick slammed in the car door!
  538. Fucking my grandma!!!!!!!!
  539. My water broke and I couldnt find a napkin
  540. Same shit different day bigger pile-why bother?
  541. I woke up dead this morning!
  542. Got my hand stuck in the cornflakes box while eating breakfast
  543. Jesus, get off my back will you!?!
  544. My dog died...and I can't get my dick out!!!
  545. T dont felt like it
  546. Because you fired me last week STUPID!
  547. I won the lottery.
  548. I won the lottery and you work for me now. You are fired!
  549. I was here( in the restroom drinking beer)
  550. I had cum in my eye and i could not see to drive
  551. i was shaving my balls
  552. I had to return a porno tape first
  553. I had to break in my new bottle of lotion
  554. I had half a chance with this chick i met, so i had to chase her around all day to see if i could get some pussy
  555. I don't have a fucking job. I'm a lazy bastard shit ball!
  556. because !!
  557. works shit your shit fuck right off
  558. too busy shaving your wife pussy
  559. gaged on one of your wifes pussy hairs
  560. your wifes arse was to tight and we had to go to the hospital
  561. your wife gaged on my dick and i had to find somewhere to bury her :)
  562. got my fist caught in your wifes arse
  563. i had to clean up my car after the incident with your daughter last night
  564. How? I am in Jail for cheating on the firm.
  565. I ask: "Was soll das ?"
  566. I forgot I still worked for you.
  567. My dog ate your wife out.
  568. My dick got stuck in my wife's pussy (men only)
  569. My braces got stuck in pubes while I was having oral
  570. i was fucking you mum when she got cramp and my dick is still stck in the fat bich!!
  571. Caught pissing on side of the road, in jail
  572. I accidently ate my car!
  573. I was drawing a picture for my daughter when the dog ate her. So I have to go to a funeral.
  574. Ég var að kúka í klósettið þegar stórt skrímsli kom upp og át mig.
  575. Ég var að éta ömmu þína.
  576. Eg var ad eta ommu thina.
  577. I was shagging a sheep. Lady-sheep offcourse.
  578. I was busy shagging
  579. I was raping your wife with a coke bottle
  580. Shopping with Paul, cuz it was raining....weg
  581. and btw, some of you guys need not explain to your boss why you are not there, I am sure they would prefer you not be. No loss....sheesh.......funny at first but with all good things, the weirdos catch on and ruin it.....sigh.......nuff said.......back to shop with my baby,...
  582. and whoever Kelly is, rock on babes, this is too funny
  583. I was reading all this shit on work excuses!
  584. Huh? I'm what? No fuckin way dude!
  585. I accidentally stepped in Rush Limbaugh's crack and got my foot stuck and had to call the fire dept. to extracate me!
  586. what?
  587. because your wife gave me crabs when i fucked her ass and pussy this morning
  588. Your wife came over last night and forgot to untie me when she left.
  589. I Fucked your wife so hard I killed her and then I spent the rest of the day buring her body and selling her kiddneys heart and lungs on the black market so I'm very sorry about being late
  590. Got drunk and passed out.
  591. I forget the time
  592. I ve played my dick all over the night!
  593. Pamela Anderson was sucking my dick!
  594. I WAS WATCHEN A PORNO AND LOST ALL TRACK OF TIME
  595. Could not find detachable boob
  596. Too busy reading c.c's work excuses
  597. I got held up with your wife and she wouldnt let me leave without blowing my load on her tits
  598. My wife told me to stay home...she's the boss
  599. My girlfriend had me arrested AFTER she beat me up.
  600. You mother would not get off of me
  601. My penis got stuck in a bottle
  602. My penis got stuck in the sink
  603. My penis got stuck in the refrigerator
  604. My penis got stuck underneath the couch
  605. My penis got stuck in a lemon
  606. My penis got stuck in a vaseline jar
  607. My penis got stuck in the car muffler
  608. My penis got stuck in the drawer
  609. My penis got stuck in an anthill
  610. My penis got stuck in my mitten
  611. Me penis got stuck between my toes
  612. My penis got stuck in a bowl of ice cream
  613. My penis got stuck in the hair dryer
  614. My penis got stuck in my hand and I had to start stroking
  615. Fell off the toilet while masturbating and hit my head on the sink and was knocked unconscious.
  616. Plastic Roxanne wanted me and Brian to stay in bed with her.
  617. Justin got his head stuck in a lawn and leaf garbage bag
  618. Brian's dick may be small, but it sure is skinny.
  619. I had to wait for Justins mom to find his wiener so he could pee.
  620. Someone was fucking my sister.
  621. i was waiting for someone to have sex with this fat chick and I got stuck in the closet
  622. i was waiting for someone to have sex with this fat chick and I got stuck in the closet
  623. I was down stairs sleeping while my buddy was in the closet while fat girl was lying on the bed breathing hard.
  624. I was gonna call in but my lips were stuck together from all the cum.
  625. Too busy thinking about why this list is so fucking lame!
  626. Too busy thinking about why this list was so fucking lame!
  627. My cat got fuck and I had to kill her!!
  628. My wife cought me by the tail
  629. My wife cought me by the tail!!!
  630. Because..........!
  631. Stephanie Finlay is a fucking whore!
  632. S.Finlay fucks chickens and then eats them!
  633. Where is my Virginya? Where can she be? At Davids house?
  634. Soy Español y no hablo Ingles, lo siento jefe.
  635. Your daughter needed a ride to school , but we couldn't find her panties!
  636. need to go and fuck the ball and chain
  637. I lost my elbow yesterday.
  638. i have to start using my sick days or i wont get paid for them
  639. i'm tired of getting fucked in the ass at work so i decided to try it out at home instead
  640. i believed the guy with the "the world will end today" sign and decided to blow off
  641. i was still coming down off of my LSD trip and didnt want to ruin it by going to work
  642. i can't work when im on dugs- doctors orders.
  643. Was on my way when my arms fell off...
  644. Had to chanfe out of my batman costume after fighting crime all night and could not find my real clothes
  645. I was um er My bad
  646. Thermo-Craft Sucks
  647. I GOT SICK FROM SWALLOWING SO MUCH CUM AND WAS PUKING ALL NIGHT.
  648. I got sick from swallowing so much cum and was puking all night.
  649. I m filling the Head of my bong , cause i must get stoned ...
  650. The ferrets got loose and we had to rack them down. We finally found them by the canal.
  651. My Gerbil is lodged in my ass.
  652. Dont have any more WEED!!, I'll have to find some more before i can come back to work!!
  653. I quit
  654. It's 4:20, work?, Hey Dude, Fire up that spliff alread...........................cough cough............
  655. Take me Drunk Ocifer, Im home.
  656. Oh my god!!! I have a job? Damn this sobriety!
  657. i paid your wife $50 and you didn't want that to go to waist now did you
  658. i was stuck to my keyboard
  659. i have to get my dick sucked
  660. i went to the dentist to get a hair cut
  661. The doctor gave me a new medication and I fell asleep for three days.
  662. My dick is stuck in my vaccum cleaner.
  663. I was beating off so much last night, it all solidified and now I'm stuck to my bed!
  664. Caroline J. is trying to detain me.
  665. You mean I work here
  666. I'am Calling Off Dead Today, Because I Used Up All My Sick Days
  667. If I hear the cop tell the drunk he can go to the hospital or go to jail one more time I'll snap
  668. The shit i smoked up last night was so good i had to take another toke this morning, then i ran out and had to make a day trip to get some more.
  669. shit happens alot to me. feel sorry for me and let it go. will ya.
  670. Had a lack of "giddy-up and GO" this morning.
  671. The blood it won't come off, for the love of shit the blood won't come off
  672. was bussy reading excuses so i could not go to work
  673. "i'm not".....shut up guys..."er ah feeling">>>>>
  674. That's my twin borther who's been coming in! You should fire him!
  675. I've been called in by Ken Starr to testify in the Whitewater hearings
  676. tried to suck my own cock and got a neck cramp
  677. bussy reading crap on the net
  678. Zorkon the space god made me stay to eat a poodle
  679. Was Sucking My Own Dick And Got STUCK...
  680. I think I have malaria.
  681. My doctor told me to avoid fat and I thought he was talking about you.
  682. I was fisting your daughter and got a cramp
  683. your wife has very strong legs, but anyway........
  684. Vauva hukkasi tutin, joten se imi minua kunnes nukahti.
  685. my asshole was on fire
  686. because i read this b-shit
  687. shoved my vibrator in me for the drive to work, and didn't want to stop driving!
  688. had to help my cat to catch a mouse
  689. I was Writing No Senses in May Computer
  690. Forgot t wake up
  691. Something on TV I wanted to watch
  692. I did not want to work
  693. My cat is in bed withs the dog
  694. Spock fisted me!
  695. Born to be free
  696. What type of freedom
  697. ASS HURT'S
  698. didn't wanna go
  699. im racist against everyone
  700. im on house arrest for public display of nudity
  701. i gto my period "men only"
  702. You're just jealous that the little voices don't talk to you.
  703. Sorry, Boss, I forgot my work boots under your bed lastnight.
  704. Changing my kid's diaper.
  705. fucking around on the internet now in hooked to thishit i quit GIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHH
  706. My penis itched
  707. The voices told me to stay home and clean my guns.'You like guns, dont you? Well...DONT YOU...WHAT?>>>AAAARRRGGGHHH<<< Yeah, I'll be in soon.
  708. I'll have to call you back , your wife wants me to come back to bed !
  709. I was wrestling Jack Daniels , and lost ......
  710. You thought I was kidding when I quit ?
  711. Even your daughter says you suck in bed
  712. Can not get the hamster out of my ass!!
  713. Can not get the hamster out of my ass!!
  714. I've had way too much LSD, and i have to stay home to remove the pink elephant from my loungeroom..
  715. your mother and your sister say you suck in bed
  716. theres something wrong with my eyes,I cant see coming in to work today
  717. theres something wrong with my eyes, I cant see coming to work today
  718. I did not want to work
  719. My wife bit my cock off
  720. I was too busy Jacking off at www.groove2000.com
  721. got herman caught in my zipper
  722. my sister nicola was shagging her b freind in my room couldent get out of the closet in time
  723. jock my brother feet knocked me out all night that i could not tell what ime or day it was
  724. got it stuck in a pussy
  725. I came in my eye
  726. Cum kept dripping down my legs when I stood up
  727. Got Blue Balls
  728. I was too busy cumming all over your daughter's face!
  729. The rabbit ate my fucking carrot.
  730. Because Jeff put on his sleaveless wife beaters' shirt and went nuts on Hogan's faggot ass. They had to be seperated before someone got their head ripped off and neck shit down.
  731. My day has been to bad-- I woke up this morning and I wasnt in my own bed and I didnt know the guy beside me--when I got home I was lookin for my keys and realized I forgot to put my clothes back on (I dont know how that happend)--then I just could not find my pencil and when I finally did It was too late anyways...did I mention that I am a blond?
  732. I farted and nuked this side of town
  733. I need to shower first
  734. Do I have too????????
  735. I don't wanna kill you, and you don't wanna be dead.
  736. I'm caught in a bear trap
  737. Look I saw this chicken crossing the raod and just couldn't help myself...
  738. Wanted to get you a surprise gift. Where is it?? Uh...wait right here, I'll go get it.
  739. Got my leg blow off in Nam.
  740. My mommy grounded me.
  741. My wife cut off my dick.....................or
  742. my husband sewed me shut
  743. I'm pregnant.....
  744. fall and cant get up
  745. my daddy was spanking me
  746. lightining struck the transformer on my block and the electricity went out
  747. i was reading the fucking excuse list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  748. i was reading CC's excuse list
  749. FUCKING BLUEBALLS!!!!!!!!
  750. lightining struck the transformer on my block and the electricity went out
  751. I thought the power was out. (it was at my house)
  752. Was i supppose to be at work? I thought it was a holiday. The calendar was marked in red! Oppps sorry
  753. got hit by a train
  754. i was enthralled with watching the dog lick his balls
  755. get your asses to work goddamnet im on wellfair
  756. i was enthralled with watching the dog lick his balls
  757. Was too busy trying to think of a reason to stay home
  758. My dog bite off my fucking balls
  759. i throuhgt my back out ,i was busy humping your mom last night
  760. I had a good fuck with a blonde college girl
  761. I'm too stoned!
  762. My dick was severed by the motor in the Tickle Me Elmo doll.
  763. two lesbens live nexdoor and i hav binoculars
  764. simon walters is not circemcised
  765. my elbow locked up jerking off
  766. i don't want to work with that person
  767. I had to take my mother to the hospital for her ingrown toenails
  768. My Dick got stuck in my hand
  769. I had to ride my motorcycle
  770. fuck you bazil
  771. Sorry, can't risk it, I'm in hiding still after blowing Jill Dando's head off.
  772. Sorry, I was jerking off thinking of your mom
  773. Rather do wild and crazy things with my spouse than work
  774. Had sex so much I had to get my penis reattached.
  775. Got such as big hard on from looking at your wife that I passed out and I just woke up.
  776. MY PUSSY HURTS!!!!!!
  777. WHY SHOULD I SHOW UP ON TIME DWIGHT DOESN'T
  778. I don't have to show up for work, I fucked the boss!
  779. Why don't you just give me the money and let me do whatever I want, everyone knows the whole fucking Y2K problem will just fix itself.
  780. -I did go to work, didnt you notice? (answer no)- AMAZING!!!
  781. Have another JOB interview this morning, They want to double what your paying me, work less hours, sit in an office and play on the computer !!
  782. I have an eye problem! I just can't see going to work today.
  783. I spent all night looking for an excuss not to come in
  784. Linda told me get that dress dry cleaned.
  785. I fucked your dog last night.
  786. My dick got stuck in your wifes mouth.
  787. I called in dead
  788. I was on a three week waiting list with your mom, and couldn't pass up the chance.
  789. YOUR MAMMA
  790. How would you know I was late? Jeff was sucking the calcium out of your bones!
  791. I HAVE AN ENORMOUS THING N MY PANTS!!!!!!
  792. HOW COULD YOU REALIZE I WAS LATE, TO BUSY TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE ELSES ASS TO KISS?!?!?
  793. I HAVE A RAINBOW ON MY DICK, TELL YOUR WIFE TO STICK TO ONE SHADE OF LIP STICK
  794. HOW COULD YOU KNOW IF I WAS LATE OR NOT, WIPE THE CUM OUTTA YOUR EYES AND PAY ATTENTION
  795. i got castrated
  796. im Jewish, I was to busy making another dradle
  797. I choked on wipcream last night, that shit is harmful
  798. The cops are raiding my house, looking for DONUTS!!!!
  799. SORRY, i had to stop off at the crack house on my way in
  800. RLV didn't wake me up.
  801. i was fucking a crackwhore OH IM SORRY i meant your mama
  802. I had to go the hospital, accidently sat on a wine bottle.
  803. i couldn't get your wife off of my dick
  804. i was watching a porno and something popped up
  805. b/c this site is gay
  806. nael is good
  807. Aamulla olin pirtusta jurrissa
  808. Poro on parasta ( Finland Vodka ) Frasier is Best !!
  809. ate a bad clam! tell your wife to clean that shit!!!
  810. ate a bad beaver
  811. got lost in my girlfriends bush
  812. my boyfriends more important then you are!!
  813. my girlfriend leslie is more impotant then anyone i know
  814. I am hideing from the cops in the woods because I did not see my proll officer this month.
  815. Had to catch my brothers dog.
  816. My hemroids hurt.
  817. Got my dick stuck in a catup bottle it feels very good!
  818. Shot myself in the foot.
  819. Had to poop.
  820. Adding excuses to kellys list.
  821. Adding this excuse to kellys list.
  822. did not have any beer to get drunk on before i go to work cause this job sucks big fat harry dick you old dick head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  823. Got a bonner.Do want to suck it.
  824. Got carpit burns.
  825. Adding this excuse to kellys list.
  826. i had to put the cut the doorman in pieces so he could fit into the refrigerator
  827. I'M ON FIRE DOWN THERE, GOT ANY CREAM?
  828. TOO BUSY EATIN' YOUR WIFE'S BALOON KNOT
  829. TOO BUSY EATING CAMEL TOES.(PUSSY)
  830. i could not get up i had mornig wood
  831. my dick got caught in my zipper and i got piss all over myself!!!
  832. i'm a nympho and your duaghter visited me.
  833. my pubes got caught in your daughters braces
  834. Fried the inside of my ass with a curling iron I was "playing" with.
  835. Nuts are now permanently bald anfter I tried bleaching my pubes.
  836. The "Golden Shower" got all over work clothes.
  837. Had my stomache pumped. Eatin too much cum...
  838. Because your wife's p---y stunk so bad, the board of health quarntined your house......
  839. Bad case of the shit`s with gas!!!!!
  840. Video Taping Mike Giving out pearl necklaces
  841. When I got to work, a roach tripped me and a rat took my wallet
  842. PLAYING CIRCLE JERK !!!
  843. Me and the guys in the backround of this page were laughing at how you must really think we give a rats azz if were late or not !
  844. I'm sorry, you've mistakin me for someone who cares if they are late or not.
  845. I'm getting pussy therapy.
  846. because Mike is the biggest ASSHOLE we know.
  847. i was too busy reading the excuses for not going to work
  848. the "crack" i was smok'in ...shit in my face
  849. i lost my wedding-ring fuckin your mom...untill she bent-over and it fell out of her ass........
  850. the cucumber i was using....molded!!!!!!!
  851. I also make porn-movies and i couldnt get the sheep's feet out of my boot's
  852. got my clit stuck in your husbands mouth!@#$$%**
  853. come on "ice cream"....................
  854. Procrastination is my middle name!
  855. I got stuck in mail on my WebTV!
  856. I was too busy playing with a page at: http://www.kellys.com//excuse.html
  857. I was too busy playing witha page at http--www-kellys-com--excuse-html !!
  858. I was too busy playing with a page at kellys dot com excuse dot html, ya know?
  859. Cause I was playing with this here page!
  860. Visit http://www.kellys.com//excuse.html for more!!
  861. No, visit here: http://community-1.webtv.net/ProfMarvel/ !!!
  862. 101
  863. I was at work...I was just smoking crack while fucking my secretary up the ass!!!!
  864. i were everyone knows what we have you herd about all the time i just kidding when the bug why was this dead guy letting me strange things drive the foggy shirt was stained cats are my getting into love is what you tried to hats are green gold is like stuff is free....
  865. I was fucking my Jar Jar binks doll
  866. I got stuck in Dave's ass
  867. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
  868. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
  869. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
  870. my dick got stuck in my poodle
  871. my dick got stuck in my zipper
  872. my dick got stuck in Todd's poodle mmmmmmmmmmmm poodle-- I gotta go now.
  873. Dave's ass was blocking out the sun and I thought it was still nite time
  874. couldn't get Rob's dick out of my poodle
  875. Rob won't leave my fucking poodle alone!!!!
  876. I'm staying at home from work so I can keep adding excuses to this page and end up being the 1000th excuse maker!
  877. I just wasted a whole day reading these stupid excuses
  878. I WAS KICKIN THE SHIT OUT OF THE LOSER WHO TYPED THE SAME FUCKIN THING 36 TIMES
  879. I had my wifes foot up my ass
  880. Tequila sunrise!!!!!!!!!!! with that stripper I met last night
  881. I went blind ,cause I just couldn,t see working "The Next Day!"
  882. It was too cramped under the desk and i fell asleep. (Secrateries)
  883. I was busy copying the files off of the computer I sent a virus to at BchdBum@aol.com. (Dumbass!)
  884. i just don't give a f@ck!!!!
  885. I WUZ ON A MUTHERFUCKING PAPER CHASE
  886. Couldn't help lookin at those Pictures, Mr. President.
  887. Um..well sir...you know our little spanky?...well he's BACK!!!
  888. Ha ha...a trick Question...i get it...hahaha
  889. My dick was stuck in the hole in the pool
  890. Well I was up all night lookin at this "cool" site...
  891. my bitch was tongin my ass and shit slipped out
  892. http://hello.to/toxic_suicide
  893. I was busy butt fukin BchdBum@aol.com
  894. This is really lame
  895. I was hittin a lick
  896. I was fuckin Mary
  897. fuck all you "dumb mother fuckers....punk!!!"
  898. Because I went out with chille last night
  899. I went out with chille last night
  900. I was really, really, really piss drunk
  901. I dreamed I was already at work
  902. i was sucking my mans my own dick and it felt good!!!!
  903. I CUT MY PUSSY SHAVING IT!
  904. OH THAT'S RIGHT.......I DON'T HAVE A PUSSY IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR MOMS!
  905. i was reading all of these un-creative excuses.
  906. well i figured that you would bitch half the day anyway, so i decided to save you some time.
  907. I already did
  908. Just don't fucking ask.........
  909. I said don't......
  910. I am full of shit Everyone email me BchdBum@aol.com
  911. Your right.....HE is full of SHIT,,,and himself....
  912. He's a genuine cocksucker....
  913. I think hes a sweetie.....a dipshit but a sweetie......
  914. my vagina burst, my rectum is the next to go
  915. My horse got cought in a barbed wire fence and I had to bury him
  916. i was sucking your moms dick
  917. I was at the police station
  918. my foreskin got caught in your moms teeth
  919. i anally raped your budgie and i got stuck..
  920. your mom sewed my asshole up and kept feedin me and feedin me......
  921. your mom sewed my asshole shut and kept feedin me and feedin me....
  922. I dropped my joint in the gas I was huffing and I caught Minister Bob's naked ass on fire. Of course the gimp costume I had on saved me from those crazy third degree burns. That and you're an asshole
  923. Spent the night partying. Introduced my husbands friend and my friend to eachother. I wasn't too late.
  924. Your daughter gave me head and im still busy pulling the sheets out of my ass
  925. My vibrator broke and i had to wait for the spin cycle
  926. this sucks
  927. Go Fuck Myself? How many times do I have to tell you? I CANT turn around Fast enough!
  928. this site was bugging me so i had to stop and post
  929. this is the lamesf fucking thing full of lame jobbers who are preoccupied with fucking their dogs, their bosses, their bosses wives, their bosses dogs and so on....
  930. Because I don't give a RAT'S-ASS about my job
  931. got beer
  932. I DONT PECK INGLES YO ABLO ESPANOL
  933. I WANT A SEX BABY YEA BABY in my work dont sex-girl
  934. my bud ice bottle got stuck inside my girlfriend
  935. you shagged me so hard, almost blew my head off... so i had to come in sick with a headache
  936. well... um...yea...ah yes.. well did you hear about the time that I F*$%^d you mother and your father..... oh no not you're father no no it was your sister in law!
  937. who is looking at this page right now?
  938. i would've made it on time..but i had to finish my boinky with my cyber pal
  939. This one is for if you get caught sleeping at your desk................... Say this............. In Jesus heavenly name "Amen"
  940. I am late? Are you sure?
  941. IM AL HERMAN, IM ALWAYS LATE
  942. I was busy reading 1088 excuses BUT I FORGET THEM ALL!
  943. My dick got caught in an electric pencil sharpener
  944. Lost track of time watching the spice channel, got a f****** problem with that!?!?!?!
  945. I went through 12 cases of Mountain Dew last night and I have to piss every 5 minutes
  946. I was programming all last night I am too tired to work
  947. Too busy hacking into your corporation's computer
  948. i used super glue as a lube and got my hand stuck to my dick
  949. Jonathon Kitchens fucked my car last night the oil reservoir was clogged
  950. Fucked a whore and my dick fell off
  951. Went to see wicked GnR tribute band, moshed good and proper, got fucked, went home, smoked until i could see no more, got fucked so can't work now, am too fucked.
  952. I had Open Heart Surgery.
  953. Walking out the door and my dick got caught
  954. having a two handed shandy and stained my flares.
  955. enlarger go stuck
  956. my balls fell off
  957. dildo got stuck in my ear
  958. I SPENT ALL NIGHT READING THIS FUCKING PAGE AND I'M STILL NOT FINISHED!!!!!!!!!1
  959. i got an potatoe in my eye
  960. Franco was an ugly shithead from L-town
  961. was watching Dave Evanoff getting but raped
  962. was butt raping dave
  963. wa getting rim job from above
  964. If my wife hadn't of called my girl friends house I wouldn't have been here at all!!!
  965. I WORK AT ECM.WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY!
  966. I quit
  967. [on phone] Well boss, I uh, umm.. [ "Take that MOTHERFUCKER!"] Oh shit a drive-by!*BANG! BANG! BANG!* Oww, I'm dead. *plop*
  968. used a loaded .357 Smith&Wesson as an ass dildo...
  969. MY ALARM COCK WENT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
  970. Tenia que cojer a su madre....
  971. I'm Batman
  972. I was commissioned to take the day off so i could save the world from evil
  973. honest, i really did get commissioned boss!!!
  974. NO! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!
  975. You can't fire me i quit you dick
  976. you interrupted my storyline dammit, no fair
  977. anyways, it is me, Insaneman who said the evil thing, just in case anyone comes here from my site
  978. I forgot how to work
  979. I was busy having an orgy with your wife, mom, daughter, and sister
  980. I had some problems with a weedwacker, cool whip, and a chicken. I'll explain tommorrow
  981. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.........duh bye!
  982. Damn i need to get call id
  983. Give me directions and i'll be there tommorrow
  984. Huh what
  985. Huh what!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DAMN KIDS I CAN'T HEAR MY BOSS FUSS ME OUT ABOUT TAKING THE DAY OFF!!! I'LL CHANGE YOUR DIAPER LATER DAMN IT!!! Okay you were saying?
  986. dnfdhdgfkhgsdkhghgfkhgfihhdgr
  987. because i have to wait a coulple of days till my sifilous clears up
  988. Fuck It!
  989. CAUSE CISCO IS THE MAN AND HE MAKES THE RULES NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
  990. A BUNCH OF VATO LOCOS JUST KICKED MY ASS
  991. VATOS TOLD ME TO SLANG INSTEAD
  992. I lick my mommy
  993. well my job at chip-n-dale's is interferring with my day job
  994. wife died ,kids in jail ,got tattooed take your pick
  995. Your Wife told me her Plumbing was clogged
  996. DONT LIKE WORKING WITH BRIAN RUDATIS
  997. BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS PISSED OFF
  998. I was horny and I was afraid I might rape you if I came to work
  999. ate rock candy, got explosive diarrhea bent over and shot my parrot
  1000. Got my hand caught in JFK jnr's pants
  1001. The wanking was to hard!!
  1002. hi mum
  1003. i kill my mother... sorry..
  1004. woke up.... let an 12 second 4 octave fart....then passed out
  1005. the cabbie was better than you so i work for him now
  1006. zzz. zzz.... zz... z... zzz...... zz.... zzzz... zz.... zz.... zzz... zz.. zzzz....
  1007. can't come to work today... too busy spitting tic tac's at my hostage
  1008. my beer belly is stuck in a hula-hoop
  1009. I'm already at work. This is a recording. BEEP
  1010. I'm trapped under a pink elephant
  1011. I'v efallen and I cant get up
  1012. I went after the dime I dropped in the toilet, and now my hands stuck
  1013. I was too excited to work, so I had to write a country song, and now I'm too depressed
  1014. I'm playing atari
  1015. wife needed the fan belt for her girdle
  1016. I cashed in my 2 million stock options on my internet site after it went public today
  1017. I'm trapped in a Bewitched rerun
  1018. I'm hiding in the witness protection program
  1019. i drive a ford, understand?
  1020. I was coughing up hairballs in a PUBIC restroom!!!!!!!!!
  1021. my legless parrot popped a boner and fell off his perch
  1022. i was changing the newspaper in my legless parrots cage
  1023. and his boner gave me a black eye
  1024. monica lewinsky gave my legless parrot a b.j. and his head fell off
  1025. i was too busy fucking!
  1026. i was looking for jfk jr.'s body
  1027. WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT JFK JNR ?????
  1028. Handcuffs, your wife, a four poster bed, and whipped cream. Any questions?
  1029. No, you see, I've been UNDER a desk this whole time.
  1030. I thought you wouldnt mind!
  1031. went to germany for octoberfest, was sitting at a table drinking beer, when i saw an old girlfriend. i got up to say hello, and i stepped on the toe of a skinhead. 4 skinheads chased me out of the beer hall into the street. there was a parade going down the street, and i crossed the parade and ran down a alley. a woman said whats the matter and when i told her she took me inside of her coat store. she brought me into her basement where it had a party going on. so i started to drink with her and she said it really was a whore house. so i said whatthe hell, and paid 200 bucks for the kinkyest sex i have ever had. my asshole still hurts.
  1032. I woke up & it hit me I was sick(my wife was horny
  1033. My Shower Was Too Hot, and I Passed Out
  1034. I got locked in my house (blonde would say)
  1035. Ask me again and I'll have your soul!!!
  1036. Didn,t want to look at your fucking face
  1037. uuuhhhhhh don,t know
  1038. I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO WORK
  1039. i enjoyed the flic with Tommy Lee and Pamila Anderson Lee
  1040. Got smoked up.
  1041. I overslept cuz my rooster didn't crow.
  1042. I died last night!!!!
  1043. fuck not
  1044. I could not find my way to work
  1045. I will late today as I have a birthday party to go to !
  1046. You should know, I was with you.
  1047. im kamming from austria
  1048. its a against my beliefs to work
  1049. I was temporarily allergic to the shit I have to put up with at work
  1050. i went to shit and the hogs ate me
  1051. i shoved toothpaste in my ass and brushed my teeth with hemroid cream
  1052. I was too Stoned
  1053. if i suck your cock will u let me have the day off since this morningi fucked you sister????!!
  1054. fuck me then let me leave
  1055. Work??? You expect Shin Akuma to WORK!!!!!
  1056. Swallowed my toothbrush
  1057. Swallowed my legs
  1058. I LIKE TO SUCK MY AUNT'S FEET
  1059. I am on time your clock is just set too fast
  1060. i have a boner and it wont go down.
  1061. had a heart attack and died
  1062. I got hooked on some new shit at kelly's bar J.C
  1063. My penis keeps dragging on the ground
  1064. i am at work, youve called my work phone.
  1065. kill me,please, before...AHHHHHH!!!!
  1066. b..b...b...but....i...i....h....h...ave....a....s...ss...t.a..mmer....a...a.nd....i....(hang up)
  1067. i told all tha ppl at kellys my e mail so id get weird ppl e mailin me aload of stuff....(RogueLioness@hotmail.com) oh an hey ash182 if ur readin this....an number 1232- 1235 were all done by me!!! wwwwoooo yeah ok e mail me now...blah!!!
  1068. yet again blah...me bored...need fooood...*drule* ok ill calm down!! mmmmm sausages.....hehehe ne who...blah!
  1069. Having a bad hair day
  1070. Having a bad hair day
  1071. Too Wasted
  1072. Just tried to kill myself
  1073. Busy having an orgie with your wife and daughter
  1074. To busy piercing my cock
  1075. To busy trying to take out a rib to geve myself a blow job
  1076. Had Breat implants and i'm pregnant
  1077. dope
  1078. Licking peoples asses all over town and they all really really LOVE IT MORE THAN I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1079. O
  1080. I've had so MANY guy's tugging my tits I have an apointment to get them back on (Women only)
  1081. My coat got stuck in the garage door opener and I couldn't get down until my Mom got back from the farm.
  1082. I got lost in my beer mug
  1083. yeah i dont got time to go home
  1084. I got caught with your mom in the car and youir dad was mad
  1085. I pooped on the floor
  1086. I got locked in a bathroom stall
  1087. Trent Mills Is a Gay Baster
  1088. The World Has Gone to Hell And SO Has This Business
  1089. The World Has Gone TO Hell and so has this business
  1090. The World Has gone to shit and so has this BUSINESS
  1091. The World Has Gone to Hell And SO Has This Business
  1092. BOB DIDN'T PICK ME UP.
  1093. I HAD SEX AT WORK
  1094. my dog raped me in the ass
  1095. i caught herpes from the dog
  1096. the cat WAS fun
  1097. i was to busy LOOKIN at DUMB jokes on net
  1098. i prayed about it and GOD told me not to work
  1099. Kellys a fag
  1100. Don't you relise you've got a female name
  1101. You are....
  1102. my mother is a hot bitch
  1103. something came up
  1104. i was searching one in kelly's site !
  1105. fuck me hard
  1106. mail in rebates are bullshit !!!!!!!!!
  1107. SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1108. So !
  1109. I was in the middle of a blowjob
  1110. Too busy watching Brady Bunch reruns!
  1111. Gave a b.j. to B.H.
  1112. im sucking a guys cock at the moment oh! now hes getting me up the ass (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats soooo good)!!!
  1113. i am workink @ ram & mcrae
  1114. i wasnt late im early for tomarrow
  1115. i told clinton to stop but he wouldnt listen
  1116. my corner was busy last night, so i slept in.
  1117. A telephone pole hit my car
  1118. I ran out of beer and refuse to work without a buzz.
  1119. I was trying to cook for my girlfriend, but the microwave blew up and she lost her right foot.
  1120. I was pulled over and told the cop, "I swear to drunk I'm not god!!!" and took me in for some reason.
  1121. I was at work but how do I know you were?
  1122. i tried waxing my testicles and burnt them
  1123. WISE UP DICKHEAD.WORK? WOT THE FUCK IS WORK?
  1124. AN EXCUSE? DO I NEED 1 OF THEM 4 NOT COMING IN 2 WORK
  1125. she snored during sex
  1126. ...But when I woke up next to the boss this morning he said it would be okay if I skipped work to stay with him in bed all day!!!
  1127. the roof caved in from the rain
  1128. my foot got stuck in the snow
  1129. had diarria
  1130. i got the blonde next door to open my door
  1131. forgot to pay the prostitute
  1132. went to my gf's house and never came back
  1133. I HD TO GO POO POO.........MAJORLY
  1134. if any 1 has read ne of these damn u have to much time on ur hands
  1135. My name is Mealworm = Richie
  1136. My name is Sonata
  1137. my name is Arvin= Tapeworm
  1138. my name is Arvin= Tapeworm
  1139. My name is Sonata =slipperyworm
  1140. my name is mike=bookworm
  1141. the worms had an orgy
  1142. im a little tied up at the moment (tied to bed post)
  1143. IJOINED THE ARMY!
  1144. Stayed at home to watch WWF... WOOPS! I meant WWE!!!
  1145. i come fron inglewood
  1146. i quit?
  1147. inglewood, inglewood always up to no gooood...
  1148. inglewood, inglewood always up to no goood...
  1149. NOT TODAY!!!! IM JUST TOO TIRED
  1150. MY CAR KEYS WOULD NOT START THE CAR
  1151. GOD I THOUGHT I JUST HAD TO GO 1 DAY!!!!!
  1152. I KNOW I STARTED YESTERDAY BUT I WAS JUST WONDERING IF I CAN SHE MY VACATION STARTING TODAY
  1153. i'm dead
  1154. you killed me and fuck you ass whole
  1155. my balls are to big
  1156. i couldnt fit threw the door cause your wife is a whore
  1157. i had too much sex wid ur wife i fell sick
  1158. cut my penis
  1159. well i ate to much of your sisters pussy
  1160. i think your daughters pussy was infected and now i am not fellin well
  1161. i came down with the turkish flu virus that affects the circulation in my legs
  1162. I zipped my dick in my fly
  1163. My Young son accidentally dropped the toilet seat on his dick and told me to kiss it and make it better
  1164. My wife asked me "is that stuff from you or me" and it made me so sick i rode the porcelin bus for 8 hours
  1165. My lizard ate out my wife so i had to flush him, and my toilet got clogged so i had to call the plumber, wait for him to get there and then explain the whole story to him
  1166. My wife said that she wanted a hotdog to eat, so while she went to the kitchen, i whipped out my cock. she came back, put ketchup on it and bit the head off!
  1167. my horse had a baby elephant
  1168. i have a really angry mother so i had to let her yell at me
  1169. I was too busy deciding if i'm a homo or not.
  1170. I slept in.
  1171. I dropped my soap
  1172. MY DICK GOT STUCK IN THE HOT TUB!!!!!!!
  1173. I had to take Allen Iverson To School
  1174. I had to take a big shit and got lost in the process
  1175. My boyfriend left me for his friend ben so they could fuck in the ass because I wouldn't let him. I'm so shaken right now. I can't work properly.
  1176. I Needed A Wank
  1177. My blonde wife couldn't let me go
  1178. My penis got caught in an elevator door.
  1179. I AM TOO HAIRY (NO JK)
  1180. I AM TOO OLD FOR VIAGRA!!! (I AM JUST GOT OUT OF MY MOM'S WOMB)
  1181. I HEARD JASON HAS BITCH TITIES, I SAW THEM.
  1182. I GOT A HOT DOG STUCK IN MY COOCH, CHICAGO STYLE, WITH KETCHUP
  1183. A GUY ATE MY ALARM CLOCK, AND SHIT IT OUT
  1184. I ATE A GIRL OUT WHILE ON HER PERIOD, AND GOT SOME COTTON WITH BLOOD STUCK IN MY MOLARS.
  1185. I WAS WATCHING BONES SHIT IN HIS PANTS
  1186. ======D-- (my real life dick)
  1187. i like throwing midgets in bucket during breakfast
  1188. I was fucken your daughter's at the same time
  1189. I was fucken your daughter's at the same time, biatch
  1190. because i forgot to shave my bold ass motherfucking haed last night, so i had your hot ass daghter's do it for me. bd
  1191. Got SARS!
  1192. because i'm tierd
  1193. still having sex
  1194. super glued my fingers up my ass!!
  1195. broke my nail!!!(women only)
  1196. cat got SARS
  1197. I fractured my brain
  1198. i have diarrea
  1199. Abducted by aliens- Prove i didnt!
  1200. i had the shits!
  1201. i got my dick stuck in the vacume cleaner
  1202. i was havin tea and crumpets with bin laden
  1203. i wacthing aq porno with sadham and binladen going down on each other
  1204. i seen my dad having sex with our dog
  1205. my mum doesn't shave
  1206. I STAYED OVER AT MICHEAL JAKSONS HOUSE AND I HAD A SAW ASS SO I COULDN'T WALK OR SIT DOWN.
  1207. i'm d boss so i dont needed a excuses!
  1208. i had to have my dick reduction today
  1209. i was looking at your daughtes porn picks
  1210. I look to good to work
  1211. Lesbians don't work we lick!!!!!!!
  1212. I forgot where i worked
  1213. GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
  1214. my toe hurts
  1215. i got a bone in my leg
  1216. I put a bomb under your phone. it will explode when you hang up!
  1217. Ran out of gas half way there, had to come back home for money!
  1218. Your wife pays me more per hour then you do! I work for her now!
  1219. How did you get this number?! I'm gonna fuck you up!
  1220. Are you threatening me?
  1221. Hello? uh... Leave a msg after the beep .. beep.
  1222. The colors, man.. the colors....
  1223. I had to visit your daughter in the hospital this morning...(only for men)
  1224. i got a little sick last night after seeing your old wife naked. (no one wants to see the devil)
  1225. hable esponalo?
  1226. my donkey ran away so i had to go out and get myself an ass!!!
  1227. JACK AND JILL CAME ROUND TO USE MY BUCKET, JILL FELL IN AND JACKS HAVIN TO LOOK INSIDE ME 4 HER NOW!
  1228. i broke my arm when i fell over whilst chasing my pen when it ran out
  1229. my dogs having surgery, ive got my penis stuck inside him
  1230. I WOZ CLEANING MY ROOM, HOOVERS ROCK!!!
  1231. god told me i had to pray today
  1232. I have a job!!??
  1233. I'm just late ok! Get over it!!!
  1234. I got drunk at Kelly's and woke up in China!
  1235. My Wifes away, and I got some girl I want to screw!
  1236. cause yur gay
  1237. cause this website is gay
  1238. cause i pooped in my pants
  1239. POOP?
  1240. I don't give a shit if you get mad
  1241. My we-we and bum-bum hurts, that's all you need to know.
  1242. do you feel the same way about me as i feel about your mom
  1243. i was stuck in my mom's basement reading comics and beating it to cat woman... o.k. robin. I can't help it i just love those tights on him
  1244. god i love you
  1245. flying monkeys
  1246. crabs
  1247. don't you just love my new leather pants (dudes only)
  1248. amish on the road, need i say more
  1249. should this (name any small object around you) make me horny
  1250. maby i'm late but your a poopie head
  1251. stop yelling at me homophobe. GAY PRIDE! ( then turn around and walk out)
  1252. on tour with the chillie peppers, I'm what you might call their sock boy
  1253. JIM HALL AND C.J. COOPER ARE FLAMING FAGS AND THEY DESERVE TO HAVE ANOTHER ASS KICKING JUST LIKE I (TED WISE) ALREADY DID TO JIM THEN THAT LITTLE PRICK TOLD ON ME AND I GOT SUSPENDED WHILE HE FUCKED HIS FATHER. THEY SHOULD BE KILLED A.S.A.P. DEATH TO HIPPIES. rEMEMBER BOYS AND GIRLS JIM HALL (WESTMINSTER HIGH, MD)LIKES TO LICK THE BIG COCKS
  1254. AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT JIM HIS "FRIENDS" AS HE CALLS THEM PUT HIM IN A TRUNK AND DROVE OVER SPEED BUMPS FOR A WHILE THEN THEY JUST HIT HIM AND MAKE FUN OF HIM ALL THE TIME. NOW I'M NO DR.PHILL, BUT I PERSONALLY WOULDEN'T CALL THESE PEOPLE FRIENDS, BUT THESE ARE THE ONLY FRIENDS HE'S GOT, IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL. THAT'S HOW BIG OF A FAGGOT HE IS. HIPPIES ARE GAY. (JUST THOUGHT I'D ADD THAT) AND REMEMBER JIM HALL, PENIS-LICKER. IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM HIS YEAR BOOK PIC WOULD BE UNDER JAMES 2003 IF YOU KNOW HIM SPIT ON HIM IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO
  1255. penis failure
  1256. my dog ate my homework
  1257. saw my ex wife
  1258. i shit myself, had to change my underwear
  1259. couldn't find my car
  1260. locked myself in my house (i am blonde)
  1261. I slipped in the bathroom(Chynna only)
  1262. My house got stolen( Chynna only)
  1263. Chynna was using pinky
  1264. Arnold had sex with Chynna
  1265. my shopping cart wheel broke(chynna only)
  1266. My box(home) couldn't roll fast enough(chynna only)
  1267. too busy buying excuser 1001 a drink
  1268. You're right, I'm a shit, so sue me. I never liked you anyway.
  1269. I forgot to set the VCR, so I went back to watch the show.
  1270. Are you looking for a fight? Ay? Are ya? Well??
  1271. i was following the rainbow
  1272. LOCKED IN MY CAR
  1273. the clock on the VCR said i was early
  1274. Cum Dumpster
  1275. well...you sucked at being fucked!
  1276. the porn you wanted took to long to download
  1277. Du Sprechen sie deutch
  1278. My disgusting cunt was being stretched by the presence of a massive nigger's massive black cock
  1279. I had to watch my whore drain the cum from 20 ballbags in 10 seconds
  1280. I'm Blonde give me a break!
  1281. the herpes
  1282. orgy
  1283. I was sucking my own dick and broke my neck
  1284. Wombles Jumped Me
  1285. I got squashed by a Drop Bear
  1286. I was doing your dad!
  1287. because fuck u asshole
  1288. u yes u
  1289. no fuck not u
  1290. because 1501 dickheads kept me back
  1291. Uhhhh....... I had uhhhh.... I was fixed???
  1292. whoa mama yo mama
  1293. got stuck in fefe
  1294. well i got hit in the head with a medal dildo by some arab... lala ala a a alala aababa a ababa a abab
  1295. Kissing my girlfriend goodnight she crossed her legs and broke my glasses
  1296. Lightning struck my dick!
  1297. I'm on a mission from GOD
  1298. Saw what they wear under their kilts.
  1299. cats got my tounge
  1300. out of my mind
  1301. fuck you cock monster .
  1302. shit I work , sorry I was smoking pot , and get high ,do you wanna get high with me . (come to work now !) rrrright ,I'll be their dude. smoke on man at the top. Catch you, win I see you . el bosso
  1303. ya , i did one of those wake in bakes with sake in bake ,but it not work out.
  1304. I'll kill you , don't call me to come to work ,you shit brick, motherfucking ass faggot gay man fag eat dick sucker, go away , fag man.
  1305. I'll do you if you don't count me tardy
  1306. i really don't like work
  1307. i set my alarm at 7pm
  1308. My cat had a hairball
  1309. I just plum forgot
  1310. Kid got stuck in dryer
  1311. Light bulb broke
  1312. broke my dick
  1313. fucked around 2 long
  1314. had mad wild sex till 2 hours ago and my legs are too wide apart to walk
  1315. isaac4ever@yahoo.com ( write me and i'll give you one.
  1316. i can't think of any at this very moment but i'll get back to you on pay day (isaac4ever@yahoo.com
  1317. im in sane
  1318. I had to call in well because i feel too great to go to work
  1319. the world ended
  1320. i got raped
  1321. had sex all night
  1322. i drank orange glo
  1323. i hade food poisning
  1324. (guy) in labor
  1325. FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKED UP FUCKERS
  1326. your wife wouldn't let me go home.
  1327. cat wouldn't let me get dressed
  1328. I'm DEAD!!
  1329. I dunno
  1330. I didn't wanna
  1331. I quit.
  1332. Who do you think you are phoning me up? IM THE BOSS!!!!Your Fired!!!!! :-)
  1333. I Forgot!!!
  1334. I Didn't want to
  1335. i dont know
  1336. I WAS ON THE TOILET
  1337. I GOT A HOT DOG STUCK LAST NIGHT
  1338. What da hell is that pussy for???
  1339. I was looking at the grinchs green genitals oye
  1340. Yeh I'm partial 2 doin my work oye...............
  1341. Im rescuing nemoye from petes duye
  1342. I was alsoye looking for Nemoye but we found nemoye in the end :)
  1343. I was being cruyde with jar jar binks erotic poykers
  1344. We were lunching it in the snack bar yuh yuh.....
  1345. i tried to lick my back, in the process slipping on a banana my head got jammed up my ass.....as you can see i have fully recovered now but i'm still not gonna do your work cos u suck balls
  1346. I was painting my genitals green
  1347. I was dis lodging stu's head
  1348. I DON'T WANNA
  1349. I was fucking my nieghbours wife !
  1350. new world war began, i did not sleep will because of the aircraft on my country.
  1351. my dick was erect
  1352. i got no willy
  1353. my testical was crushed by a hobo with a hammer
  1354. my cats ear fell of by kial s
  1355. i shag a donkey and my nob got lost
  1356. my testical was crushed by a hobo with a hammer by kial s
  1357. school suxx kial s
  1358. kiss my ass ass hole
  1359. washing your cum out of my hair
  1360. i am pregnant and r about 2 burst
  1361. to busy praying for all the sick people that wrote in ahead of me.
  1362. fucking got fired
  1363. wasnt able to move
  1364. what are you talking about me and your wife went to work last night
  1365. I was taking a mental health day
  1366. To lazy
  1367. u sucked my cock
  1368. i died yesterday
  1369. I was telling George Bush that he's the stupidist fuck in the world but then he was so stupid that he didn't understand so I had to explain with litttle puppets and halfway through he needed a nap and when he woke up I finished explaining but he still didn't understand so I told him to go fuck off and leave everyone alone and stop being a dumb shit and then he fucked off the stupid fucker!ROT ROT ROT!!!
  1370. found out your wife had herpies
  1371. I was with your wife
  1372. I was busy having fun with your daughter
  1373. your girl friend was screaming like ''ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhh so i wanted to stay & make sure she was ok
  1374. had more children to fuck than usally
  1375. Damn you smell like shit
  1376. fucked my dog in the ass and got stuck
  1377. was hanging out getting drunk and i was like weeeeeeeeeeeee
  1378. I was finger in my self.
  1379. I've got a bone in my leg
  1380. i was thinking of a good excuse
  1381. damn i had a good excuse..... hold on ill rember
  1382. im sorry i was just about to kill myself after reading all this crap
  1383. had to drive fucked up kid to school
  1384. your wifes hot
  1385. I was busy looking at nude pictures of your mamma
  1386. had to go see my parents in prison
  1387. You may have noticed your wife wasn't in, either...
  1388. I spent the day searching for my knee pads.
  1389. If I told you what I was doing, you'd fire me.
    Add your Excuse!


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